On peanut butter and my gay fantasy epic

So, today I thought I’d write a bit about my Gay Fantasy Epic (TM), as I mention it approximately 26,000 times per post and people may in fact be wondering what the hell I’m talking about.

I also can’t think of a single other thing to write about, aside from a detailed description of my breakfast and a general wondering as to why I end up with peanut butter on the front of my sweatshirt EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

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So, yes, let’s talk about my fantasy novel.

First, a tearful confession: “Gay Fantasy Epic” is actually not the title I have in mind for it. (I know. Heartbreaking.) The working title is Chosenthough it is also frequently referred to as “Nicky Ficcie” by certain friends of mine who also find it amusing to write parody fanfiction pairing my main characters up with sheep. But the less said about that, the better. 

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I’ve been working on it since I was about fifteen (back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth and we used mysterious black squarish things called “floppy disks”), and I’ve written and rewritten it so many times that I often get confused as to which version of events I’m currently writing. Which is a great place to be when you’re trying to write a horribly complicated fantasy epic, naturally.

The plot is based on the idea of a holy text having been translated and rewritten so many times that the original meaning is somewhat twisted, to the point that a group of people once lauded by the gods – the “Chosen” – are now seen as being evil and vile and just generally bad. “Abominations,” if you will.

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This is an entirely fictional idea with no possible parallels in the real world.

The main focus of the story is on Kaine and Nicholas, two young men who have been through a great deal of tragedy and general awfulness due to having been born “Chosen.” I really like them as characters, actually – Kaine is sarcastic and irritable and anti-social, and has never really had a friend before, whereas Nicholas is fairly happy and well-adjusted, though with some rather large issues of his own that he has to deal with. They’re brought together by a shared tragedy–

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–and are able to build a really strong, affirming sort of friendship out of it. Their relationship is the real heart of the story, and I adore them so much that I’ve had a hard time writing a book that I feel is good enough for them. I do keep trying, though.

There are a lot of other characters, and some political things and world things and things things THINGS, but at the end of the day, it’s a book about two people finding each other and making each other’s lives a little better.

And there’s also some magic and fighting and a race of wolf people, because YEAH, magic and fighting and wolf people!!1! But in the end, it’s really a story about love. <3 

And that’s all I have to say about that. I will now go make lunch, and spend a few minutes gazing sadly at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink before shrugging and going back to ignoring their existence. Let Future Me take care of them, along with all the other things I’ve been putting off. She’s going to be so pissed. >_>

This is a blog post! Wow! Amazing!

So, I’m going to try this interesting new thing called “updating my blog on a semi-regular basis.”

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I know. Shocking.

We’ll see how it goes.

So, for my first Updating My Blog On A Semi-Regular Basis (UMBOASRB?) entry:

Ummmm. Hm.

Ah, got it. Things I’ve been doing recently!

1. Watching a great deal of Sherlock

2. Thinking a great deal about Sherlock

3. Cursing winter and its unholy grip over the land

4. Writing a bit here and there, mostly my Gay Fantasy Epic (TM) and a teeny tiny bit of Sherlock fanfiction

5. Not cleaning my apartment or washing clothes or washing dishes (i.e., living in squalor)

6. Teaching as many lessons as possible to replenish the money lost over the holidays (plane tickets, cat sitter, lost revenue, gifts for everyone in the world, shipping, etc.)

7. Cursing whoever’s idea it was to put a button on my phone’s keypad that automatically opens the internet browser when I accidentally bump it while typing.

8. Sleeping, or trying to sleep, despite the screeching noise my radiator makes at varying intervals during the night and the woman next door who insists on giving loud, manic sermons to the wall behind my head at 6 AM nearly every morning. To-ho-ho, apartment living. Good times.

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(I may also be developing a slight addiction to gifs, for which I am sorry. But not sorry enough to stop using them.)

Annnnnd that’s about it, I suppose. Another thrilling entry.

Oh, and a reminder: I have books and you can buy them! So, if you find yourself with a little extra cash and a tragic lack of my fiction in your life, head on over to my Books page and start-a-spending. Why waste money on food or rent when you could be using it to buy books?

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…yeah. I may need an intervention of some kind.

Until next time~!

New: Not A Love Story

Greetings, friends. Now that the holiday madness and accompanying food coma have subsided, I’ve returned to post about my latest short story ebook release, on the off chance that anyone is actually reading this sad, neglected little blog. <3

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notalovestory_coverNot A Love Story
by T.J. Baer

Devastated over his latest break-up, Jason hides out in his apartment while the take-out boxes and empty bags of cheese curls pile up around him. When Bea stops by to cheer him up, they embark on an afternoon of board games, psychoanalysis, Star Wars references, and cockroach eviction, and Jason learns the value of a good friend and a well-placed lava pit.

A witty, surprisingly touching look at love, relationships, and what it means to be complete.

Now available at the Amazon Kindle Store for $2.99.

Purchase: Amazon Kindle Store
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Not sure where this story came from, actually. It was written while suffering from sleep deprivation and stomach woes over Thanksgiving, and was my attempt at writing about two people who miraculously do NOT discover that they are desperately in love with each other by the end of the story. :O I know. Madness.

Anyway, I hope you’ll give it a read, as I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out. I’m putting a free download of it down below, but if you have the means to buy it on Amazon, please do. The life of a self-employed teacher/writer/editor, sadly, is not as lucrative as you might imagine, and every penny helps. XD;

Not A Love Story – T.J. Baer (pdf)

I’ve actually been doing quite a lot of writing lately, mainly on my Gay Fantasy Epic (TM), though the writing of it has been stalled somewhat by the release of new Sherlock episodes. And if you aren’t watching that show, you really should be. *_*

In other news, we’re currently experiencing record cold here in Chicago, along with  quite a lot of blizzardy snowy awfulness. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I hate winter with the burning passion of a thousand suns (or some equally fiery thing), and one of these days I fully intend to pack up my stuff and my cat and move to a more tropical location. For now, however, I’ll stick around good ole Chi-Town for a bit longer, and try to remember that in a few months, I’ll be bitching about how hot it is.

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Until next time, dear friends~~<3

PS: There is a small typo in the Amazon version of Not A Love Story. Ten points to Gryffindor if you can find it. (The fact that it exists vastly offends my OCD need for spelling perfection, but I’m dealing with it. Somewhat. *twitches*)

/never a good idea to update blog before breakfast