Greetings, internet. As usual, it’s been awhile.
One of these days I’ll get the hang of updating my blog in a timely manner, but alas, probably not anytime soon. I have high hopes for my retirement, however.
Anyway, I come to you today with an Important Message! (Which you know is important due to the expert use of capitalization.)
As you know, I have books and you can buy them. But do you know who else has books you can buy?
MY MOTHER. (!)
Yes, indeed, friends. Me dear ole Mum’s just recently released three kids’ books of the Extremely Awesome variety, and if you head on over to Amazon and order them now, for a limited time only, you can receive my undying love and gratitude. WHAT A DEAL.
But yes, a quick primer on my mom’s work:
The Nasal Psychic: Big-nosed, tuba-playing Jeremy Farklesworth used to lead a perfectly ordinary life—until his voice changed. Now he’s smelling things no one else can smell, like dog poop, cigarette smoke, and sweaty gym socks. Three days after he smells funeral flowers, old Mrs. Munzer from down the street dies. Jeremy is stunned to realize the truth: his nose is psychic!
Sparkle: When the mildly dysfunctional Buxford family takes a working vacation to renovate Great Aunt Dot’s run-down mansion, the last thing twelve-year-old Brandy expects is a summer of adventure and intrigue. But that’s exactly what she gets as she unravels a cold-case mystery dating back to Dot’s girlhood days. In her search for the truth, Brandy stumbles onto a wondrous place that just might hold the key to solving the mystery. But something terrible happened there long ago—and when history decides to repeat itself, Brandy finds herself facing horrors that threaten her very life.
Bananas in Strange Places: (My personal favorite.) Dorothy’s house may have landed in Oz, but Chloe Lamont’s is someplace just as weird: halfway down the Sears wing in the Oasis Mall. Chloe hates living at the mall—and things only get worse when somebody starts vandalizing stores, using materials from the Lamonts’ house. While searching for clues to catch the real vandal, Chloe and her friends make a shocking discovery. And that’s when things get really crazy…
Sound good, right? (The correct answer is: “Right.”) You want to rush right over to Amazon RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT and buy them, don’t you? (The correct answer is: “Yes.”) You’re forever indebted to me for alerting you to their existence, aren’t you? (The correct answer is: “Yes, we love you. We will never forsake you and will spend the rest of our lives attempting to pay you back for this kindness with a wealth of expensive gifts and various kinds of chocolate.”)
So, now that you’ve decided without question to go buy multiple copies of these books (no backsies allowed), here’s my dear mother’s Official Site:
Aside from Amazon links, you can find a variety of other nifty stuff on her site, particularly geared towards nurturing creativity in kids. And really, what better use of your childhood is there than being awesomely creative?