Results of the Chosen giveaway

As promised, the results of the Chosen: Book I giveaway! After compiling all the names of those who entered, I enlisted the help of Benny, my faithful feline companion, and Emily, my faithful friend and punster, to select the winner in the most scientific way possible.

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By putting each name on a little strip of paper and drawing a name out of hat.

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Here you see Benny inspecting the hat to make sure everything is entirely on the up and up, and also, that nothing within the vicinity is edible and/or made of cat food.

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Clad in my finest Empire Strikes Back formal wear, I closed my eyes, turned my head away, and drew out the name of the lucky winner…

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Kim “Pix” Hollon!

Congratulations, Kim! You’ll be receiving your copy of Chosen: Book I shortly after the new year!

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(It will look like this, only bigger and not so 2D.)

Thank you to everyone who participated! Your awesomeness will long be remembered. <3

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As will Mark Hamill’s stirring performance on The Muppet Show.

Goodnight, friends. <3

(More on Chosen here: Chosen Main Page )

Last chance to win a signed copy of Chosen

ATTENTION, PEOPLE OF THE EARTH!

Be advised that tomorrow is the final day to enter to win a signed, advance reader copy of Chosen, your new favorite LGBT fantasy novel! It has magic! It has emotion! It has daring action scenes and not-so-daring scenes where the characters, like, talk together and stuff! IT HAS EVERYTHING!

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ENTER TODAY or regret it forever.


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When a mark on your skin decides whether you live or die…

A knock on the door, a voice in the night, and fifteen-year-old Kaine Ikarra’s world changes forever. His father has disappeared and no one will say what’s happened to him, only that he’s gone and won’t be coming back. Kaine and his mother flee the city in the middle of the night, running from whatever nameless terror has stolen his father away, and Kaine soon finds himself on the other side of the country in a small town called Aurora.

Aurora is quiet, idyllic, and the most dangerous place in the world for Kaine. Kaine has a secret, a glowing mark on his skin that grants him great powers—and could condemn him to death at the hands of his conservative new neighbors. According to the Book of the Gods, he is an abomination who must be put to death, and he knows that the devout people of Aurora won’t hesitate to do just that if they find out what he is.

In this world of danger, Kaine finds unexpected friends, powerful enemies, and a web of secrets that may finally lead him to unravel the mystery of his father’s disappearance—if he can stay alive long enough to find out.


How to enter: All you have to do is head over to Facebook and like my official author page and BAM, you’re entered.

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http://www.facebook.com/tjbaerofficial

Contest ends tomorrow, Friday, December 19th, so hurry and enter now while you still can! Exclamation exclamation!

Barring an internet apocalypse, the winner will be announced on Saturday, so stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion!

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Which is about weirdness

Wow. Woke up this morning and had a look at my posts from yesterday, and I’m kind of wondering if someone spiked my tea. But at times like this, I think it’s important to remember these sage words:

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No, no, no, not those. Try again.

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Nope. One more try, dude.

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That’s the one. The fact of the matter is, there’s nothing wrong with being a little bit of a weirdo. Or even a great big weirdo who channels her sleep-deprivation madness into MS Paint comics where Benedict Cumberbatch is forced to promote her books while Matt Smith lounges around in Princess Leia’s bikini.

I mean, really, who among you hasn’t done that very thing?

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Embrace your weirdness, my friends.  Give it a big squishy hug and remember that there are those in the world who have no weirdness, and that is a very sad thing indeed.

And now for more tea. :D

Ask Me Anything, #2: Which involves pizza and a great deal of maturity

And now, the second exciting installment of Ask Me Anything, featuring yet more questions and answers! Hooray.

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So, let’s get right down to it with the first question:

Question #1: Do you like Chicago style pizza? If so, where’s the best place you have had it? -Bridget R.

I must confess, Bridget, to an Awful Truth.

Despite having lived in Chicago for nearly seven years, I have never actually had real Chicago-style pizza.

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*SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME*

As it turns out, my pizza tastes are remarkably simple, and even the tomato-sauce-and-cheese-on-cardboard offerings of Little Caesar’s delight my plebeian tastebuds.

With that said, if anyone out there in Internet Land has any recommendations for good places to get Chicago-style pizza (answers we will not accept: “Chicago! :D”), do enlighten us in the comments so Bridget may have her answer.

I, in the meantime, will go back to slathering pizza sauce on a rock and calling it “crispy crust.”

Question #2: Do you ever get tempted to write something extremely raunchy? -Vanessa

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During the course of my illustrious fanfiction career, I took part in several literary endeavors that involved characters divesting themselves of clothing and conducting in-depth investigations of one another’s nether regions. These investigations were pretty explicit, but even then, I tended to avoid the usage of anatomical words, I guess because such words have always just sounded a bit tacky to me.

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With that said, it’s pretty challenging to write sex scenes without ever mentioning the body parts in question, so I hold no ill will towards those who make use of anatomical terms in order to ensure that the reader can actually tell what’s going on in a scene. For me, though, I prefer to avoid such words as “cock,” “love rod,” and “pulsing member,” as such phrases cause the 12-year-old in me to rise up and burst into pants-wettingly hysterical laughter.

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Maturity is overrated.

Also, my grandmother reads all my books, and while she’s a very open-minded lady who probably knows that sex exists, I’m not sure I’d ever be able to look her in the eye again if she had to read my detailed descriptions of man-parts and spurting fluids.

Is there anything wrong with writing about aforementioned man-parts and spurting fluids? Nothing at all. Just not my cup of tea.

…so to speak. Ewww.

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And that wraps up this very mature edition of Ask Me Anything. If you’ve got a question you’d like me to answer, head over to my Contact page and send it along.  And don’t forget to like me on Facebook for a chance to win a signed, advance reader copy of Chosen, something I haven’t mentioned on this blog for at least 24 hours.

Until next time~~~~!

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Of giveaways and musical bosoms

Reminder: You, yes you, can win a signed, advance reader copy of Book I of Chosen!


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When a mark on your skin decides whether you live or die…

A knock on the door, a voice in the night, and fifteen-year-old Kaine Ikarra’s world changes forever. His father has disappeared and no one will say what’s happened to him, only that he’s gone and won’t be coming back. Kaine and his mother flee the city in the middle of the night, running from whatever nameless terror has stolen his father away, and Kaine soon finds himself on the other side of the country in a small town called Aurora.

Aurora is quiet, idyllic, and the most dangerous place in the world for Kaine. Kaine has a secret, a glowing mark on his skin that grants him great powers—and could condemn him to death at the hands of his conservative new neighbors. According to the Book of the Gods, he is an abomination who must be put to death, and he knows that the devout people of Aurora won’t hesitate to do just that if they find out what he is.

In this world of danger, Kaine finds unexpected friends, powerful enemies, and a web of secrets that may finally lead him to unravel the mystery of his father’s disappearance—if he can stay alive long enough to find out.


How to enter: All you have to do is head over to Facebook and like my official author page and BAM, you’re entered.

tjbaer_facebook_dec2014
http://www.facebook.com/tjbaerofficial

The contest will end on Friday, December 19th, so get yourself entered ASAP. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait for the actual publication date of the book like everyone else, and who has the patience for that?

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Anyway, as I’m tired and it’s past my old lady bedtime, I shall leave you now with these immortal words from Blanche Devereaux:

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Goodnight, friends. <3