T.J. Baer: Twitter criminal at large

So, I woke up this morning to this pleasant message regarding my Twitter account:

Yes, friends, it’s true. You are reading the words of a Twitter criminal.

So now, naturally, I’m scanning through my tweets to see what could possibly have triggered this suspension. Was it my link to Jon Stewart’s rant about how deep dish pizza isn’t really pizza? Was it when I announced I was wearing an avocado shirt and included a scandalous gif of a dancing avocado? Or was it perhaps when I brazenly declared that I could not do any work because there was a cat sleeping on my chair? All of these are questionable posts indeed, so I suppose we can only speculate.

Given the sheer number of queer- and trans-related posts, I can’t help wondering if someone reported my account in the pursuit of being a homophobic/transphobic trolly troll, but whatever the case, I suppose there’s nothing to do but wait until the Twitter Tribunal reviews my case and decides whether or not the account I’ve invested several years into building will be allowed to remain or not.

Good times, friends. Good times.

**Update: Justice has prevailed, and my account has been returned to me. Hurrah!

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