Archive for the ‘General Weirdness’ Category

What I should have been doing this afternoon: Working on my book.

What I did instead: Wrote a Nancy Drew parody story about Antiques Roadshow.

Eh, it happens.

Please enjoy. :P

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Greetings, friends. Greetings and hello and hello and also greetings.

I find myself with a bit of time to spare this evening, so I thought it was about time I posted an update. So to all those readers who have been weeping bitter tears into their pillows at night wondering when I would return, you may now rest easy. Your prayers have been answered.

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Firefighters: So, we’ve been making some progress on putting out the fire, but as you can see, there’s still a lot of work left to do.

People: Oh, yeah, it looks so much better! Okay, you can stop now.

Firefighters: But…there’s…still fire?

People: Nah, I think we’re heading in the right direction. Just stop what you’re doing and we’re sure it’ll be fine. We’re going to go back inside now, k?

Firefighters: The building is on FIRE.

People: Yeah, but we’re tired of standing out here safely away from something that could kill us, so we think we’d rather just go back inside and get our lives back to normal.

Firefighters: THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE. You can’t go back to your normal lives when the whole place is burning down around you. And if it keeps burning, other buildings might catch on fire, too, and burn down the whole city.

People: This is America, dammit, and that means we have the right to a life of freedom in a burning building if that is what we choose! USA! USA! USA!

Firefighters: ….

Latest Vegan Vlog: In which I discuss my recent resolution to eat less junk, my struggles with sugar (and fiber), and a delicious chocolate chia seed pudding recipe. Also, there is much weirdness, because…just because.

Greetings and salutations, internet!

I opened this tab with the fervent intention of writing a brilliant blog entry that would live forever as an example of my scintillating wit and talent, but my body has reminded me that I’ve been up since 2 AM and attempting to create anything “brilliant” is just not likely to happen.

So! Here is a decidedly un-brilliant blog entry, for your possible (?) enjoyment.

 

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IT’S BACK.

…on a Saturday, because no calendar tells me what to do, yo.

For the uninitiated, Fighting For the Galaxy is the epic science fiction masterpiece* (*citation needed) composed by my Star Wars-obsessed thirteen-year-old self. It features Commander T.J. Baer and her struggles to defeat evil aliens, save the planet Earth (and the galaxy, one would assume), and have happy kissy times with a violet-eyed boy named Rendar she apparently has heterosexual-type love feelings for. (13-year-old me was still somewhat in denial on that front, alas.)

To read Fighting For the Galaxy from its glorious beginning, you can check out the FFtG main page here: Fighting For the Galaxy: Main Page

In our last installment, T.J., Jess, and Captain Abrigio were forced into the scantily-clad service industry in a fine home on planet Sffonia; Rendar, Mark, and Jen busted out of jail with an exceptional degree of violence and snappy comebacks; and Rendar said, “Damn, damn, DAMN!” because 13-year-old me thought “damn” was the height of swearing, and damn x 3 was bound to be 3x as cool.

Today, we once again visit the alien planet of Sffonia, where T.J. leads a daring escape, Jess makes yet another unfortunate decision that leads to gunfire and general mayhem, and Rendar, Jen, and Mark wander around the city arguing and wasting time. ONWARD TO EPIC SCI-FI!

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INTERLUDE! In which I demonstrate some truly awful Chinese and a brief whining tantrum in both Japanese and English.

Also, to give this the authentic feel of a Chinese film badly dubbed into English, I have arranged for my video editing program to randomly refuse to sync my lips to my words. So very much to enjoy in this video…!

Vegan Vlog #5 (and hopefully my last spam-post for this weekend), in which I make cucumber avocado rolls with soggy sushi rice and do some fascinating things with camera angles. Comments and/or advice on how to improve my technique are welcome. :P

Taking a brief vacation from the new vlogging obsession, I thought I’d compose a short post that actually pertains to writing – ho ho. I recently realized that my first novel, Talking About Fungus, passed its ten-year publication anniversary last year, and that is both impressive and deeply, deeply unsettling, for it further underscores the fact that I am old.

Old.

Old.

OLD.

So, yes, in sort-of honor of that milestone, I thought I would have another look at Fungus (I’ll take Weird-Sounding Sentences for 400, Alex), give it a little spiff-up, and then re-release it as Version 3. So, that is what I’m in the process of doing.

Unfortunately, Amazon Createspace, the platform I’d previously used to publish Fungus after its initial rights at Torquere Press reverted back to me, is now in the process of being swallowed up by the Amazon Kindle Store, and the Kindle Store – or KDP, as it jovially refers to itself – is giving me a great deal of grief in the republishing of said book. Rather than going into details about that (Cliff’s Notes Version: non-matching ISBNs, cover text, cover image, cover text again – DIDN’T I ALREADY FIX THE COVER TEXT??!!, etc.), I’ll just say that the whole situation is In Progress, and hopefully soon I’ll be able to link to the new and improved print version of Talking About Fungus.

The good news is that the Kindle version was far easier to create, and thus I can in fact share that:

Talking About Fungus, **NEW AND SPARKLY AND IMPROVED** Version

This updated version boasts a new and semi-attractive cover, which will end up being slightly different for the print version since…well, see above re: KDP giving me grief. :P

I fixed a few formatting errors from version 2, deleted some of Jamie’s monologuing (which, as a kind reviewer pointed out in his Amazon review, does tend to go on a bit), and just generally tidied things up.

Another sign of my advancing age, perhaps, is that I now look upon the sex scenes (which multiple reviewers have informed me are quite tame) with an excess of embarrassment, and in general I just feel as if this is 100% the book of a Young Person (TM), which I presumably am no longer. Regardless, it’s still a book I enjoy reading and which I think does some things quite well, so if you’re in the mood for a quick and youthful read, perhaps give it a go. (It’s only 0.99 cents, so hey, why not? WHY NOT INDEED.)

Evidence above re: why writers should not do their own marketing.

Anyway, more on the print edition when information becomes available, and/or when KDP decides to stop tormenting me and just publish the durned thing. And yes, I did just say “durned,” because…

It would seem that the vlogging and rambling continues! In this edition, I talk about some awesome breaded cauliflower I made, discuss the sadness that is soggy sushi rice and breading-challenged fried tofu, and detail the food-related plans for my birthday. Huzzah!