On summer, Andy Griffith, and my emphatic availability

arthur-fingerdrummingGreetings, friends. As I have by now run out of ways to describe how very long it’s been since I last updated, I’ll just say that seasons have passed, babies have been born, aged, and turned into cranky old wrinkled people, and still this blog has been left to gather dust in its sad little corner of the interwebs. But never fear, for I am here now to update you on all the many, many fascinating things that have occurred since my last post.

Fascinating Things That Have Occurred Since My Last Post:

  1. I started watching The Andy Griffith Show on Netflix, then almost immediately stopped watching it as the sheer amount of quaint ole southern charm threatened to drown me in a syrupy, Yankee-eating river. Boredom led me back to Mayberry shortly thereafter, however, and I ended up watching five seasons in about as many days. No regrets, though I now find myself with the strangest urge to sit out on the porch I don’t have and sip sweet tea while strumming a gee-tar and sangin’.
  2. Work on Book I of Chosen (AKA, my frequently mentioned and inexplicably still unfinished gay fantasy epic) has been coming along decently well. I had a particularly impressive spurt of writing a little while back and was finally able to finish up a section I’ve been struggling with for months, which was nice. Of course, I’m now struggling with the next section, but at least the story’s moved forward a bit. I’ve also added another LGBTQ character of color, and my quest to diversify and gay-ify the Chosen world is progressing most satisfactorily. I hope to actually finish the bloody thing at some point in the nearish future, though it would probably be easier to do that if I’d stop binge-watching Andy Griffith and get down to work.
  3. Summer has come~~~~! And with it, unfortunately, has come the realization that my little shoebox apartment heats up to approximately 9,000 degrees when the sun hits it in the morning. Benny’s taken to napping in the bathtub to keep cool, and I myself have been doing a lot of lying on the floor with the fan trained on me and my pant legs rolled up high enough to scandalize all of Mayberry.

I’ve also, as it happens, resigned from my job and returned to the glamorous life of a poverty-stricken ESL Teacher and freelance editor. Nine months of a 4:30 AM wake-up time and four hour daily commute turned out to be too much for my fragile human frame, and I decided to choose life and health over the allure of sitting at a desk all day earning just barely enough to scrape by.  It’s been exactly one week since my last day at my previous job, and I’m pleased to say that I no longer feel like death warmed over, and I’ve actually even experienced some positive emotions here and there instead of being in a constant state of exhaustion and misery.

Of course, I’m also shopping at The Dollar Store and washing clothes in the bathtub instead of going to the laundromat, but that seems a small price to pay for feeling vaguely human again. And allow me to mention, also, that if anyone needs any editing or proofreading work done, I am extremely available.

Extremely.

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Here I come, ready to edit the crap out of anything you might have.

Anyway, my brain’s turned to early evening mush, so I think I’ll get back to the business of lying on the floor and watching the people of Mayberry chuckle good-naturedly as Barney Fife miraculously neglects to murder anyone in his immediate vicinity.

Laterz~<3

Sugar and spice and a nice, satisfying scream of frustration and rage

Today, on Things That Make Me Want To Scream:

  1. Little girls are encouraged to like certain toys and certain colors, behave a certain way, and enjoy certain activities.
  2. Little boys are encouraged to like certain toys and certain colors, behave a certain way, and enjoy certain activities.
  3. Little girls who stray too far in the “boyish” direction receive a small to medium amount of disapproval, and are lavishly praised when they do anything more traditionally feminine.
  4. Little boys who stray too far in the “girlish” direction receive a great heaping crap-mountain of disapproval, and are told again and again to “act like a man” or not “be such a girl.” (Being a girl in this case = being weak, silly, emotional, shameful, etc.)
  5. Unsurprisingly, assaulting children with a massive barrage of operant conditioning (positive reinforcement for behaving “correctly,” negative reinforcement for behaving “incorrectly”) leads them to feel pressured to fall in line, and to accept that “this is what a girl is,” and “this is what a boy is.”
  6. Idiot People then look at this result and say, “See? Boys and girls are so DIFFERENT. They just naturally gravitate towards different interests.”

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This has been today’s edition of Things That Make Me Want To Scream. Thank you for your attention, and have a pleasant day.

Which concerns my LGBT fantasy epic

I thought I’d mosey on over to the blogosphere with some updates, as I find myself with a startling surplus of both time and brain cells this morning. I’m sure this is a condition too beautiful to last, so let’s get right to the updates before I return to my usual state of Morning Pudding-Brain.

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First off, my thrilling revamp of Book I of Chosen continues, and is actually going surprisingly well. There’s still a vast gap of nothingness where three or four vital middle chapters should go, but I’m very much enjoying adding in setting and culture details and doing everything I can to diversify and gay-ify the Chosen world. Continue reading

Which is full of writing talk and piss-poor doodles

So, aside from working, sleeping, eating, binge-watching The Graham Norton Show, and falling head-over-heels in love with Thomas Brodie-Sangster lookalike girls on trains, I’ve also been doing a great deal of writing as of late.

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Just like this, but less green.

Some of that writing has been strictly for my own amusement (such as the twelve-page tale I wrote about a trip my friends and I took to a Japanese barbecue restaurant, which I for some reason felt the need to transform into a Dragonlance/Dungeons and Dragons-style adventure), but the rest of it has been me working on my LGBT fantasy epic, Chosen. Continue reading

In which nicotine and Mitt Romney break my fragile heart

So, it’s been awhile. A long while. A very long while. Vast ages of the earth have passed, civilizations have risen and fallen, lizardy creatures have risen from amoeba-filled puddles to reign over the land and subsequently be wiped out of existence, and during all that time, I have somehow failed to update my blog.

For my faithful readers, few and potentially mentally unstable though they may be, I offer my deepest apologies.

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In any case, rather than getting too deeply into what I’ve been up to over the last few months (working, writing, writing, working, etc.), I’ll jump straight into the Very Important subject of this entry.

Today, dear readers, I would like to speak to you about a girl. And not just any girl, but The Girl, whose path happened to cross mine for one beautiful and fleeting train ride yesterday morning. What follows is a story of love and heartbreak, beauty and tragedy, lipstick and disappointing bumper stickers, in which the fondest desires of my fragile little heart were dashed to pieces by cruel, cruel fate.

Read on, friends, and ready yourselves for a tale of utmost woe.

Continue reading

Chosen: Book II dream cast is shiny and pretty and shiny

Greetings, my eager readers! After another lengthy period of blog neglect, I have returned!

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Okay, fair enough.

Anyway, I’ve been hard at work on Chosen: Book II, and have written (and subsequently deleted) many new and interesting scenes! I’ve also used time when I should’ve been writing to do the all-important hunt for a Book II dream cast, and I’m pleased to announce that said cast has now officially been assembled. Behold!

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A run-down of the characters, for those who might’ve missed the other 17,000 posts here regarding Chosen: Continue reading