TAF on A Blog Abroad

So, the supremely awesome Rebecca B. has made me a very happy author by pimping my book on her blog, “A Blog Abroad.”

A Blog Abroad | Book Pimping: Talking About Fungus <–Here.

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So, yes, this pleases me.

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http://www.ablogabroad.com/

If you’re into K-Pop, sarcasm, or good, intelligent writing on a number of topics, you should absolutely check out the rest of her blog. And click on some ads while you’re there, so she can get paid. Because getting paid is pretty great.

Also, buy my book.

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Talking About Fungus: Book Trailer 2014

Presenting, a shoddily made and amateurishly drawn book trailer for my novel, Talking About Fungus! Watch, like, share, and just generally pimp it out to everyone you have ever met or will ever meet, and everyone they’ve ever met, as well as their children, parents, dogs, and hamsters! Let it spread, like fungus, which we can then talk about!

Direct link: http://youtu.be/2lNRai9ttPg
Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L6FFOCW

…I may need to calm down. In my defense, I’ve been fiddling with Windows Movie Maker all morning and that’s enough to destroy anyone’s sanity.

 

Cheap fungus! Spread the word!

In honor of Pride Month, I’m pleased to announce that my first novel, Talking About Fungus, is now available for only 99 cents in Amazon’s Kindle Store!

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Talking About Fungus [Kindle Version] $0.99

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Talking About Fungus
by T.J. Baer

Jamie knows by now that breaking up with a guy is not the end of the world. After taking a few deep breaths and giving a pair of his ex’s underwear to the cat to shred, he’s prepared to forget all about ole What’s-His-Name and get his life back in order.

But then his little sister barges in for a visit, his homophobic dad shows up after two years of stony silence, and to make matters worse, his best friend seems to be falling in love with him.

Just when Jamie’s fantasizing about running off to a monastery and joining up, he meets Mr. Right in a hospital waiting room thanks to the matchmaking powers of the Great Bard. Abe is unlike anyone Jamie’s ever met, let alone dated, and things finally seem to be looking up.

A phone call changes all that, though, and Jamie finds himself flying home with his sister and his best friend for a bedside vigil. Will Jamie make peace with his family before it’s too late? Will Abe forgive him for missing their second date without even a phone call?

Warnings: Strong language, sexual situations, disparaging remarks toward goatees.

PRAISE FOR TALKING ABOUT FUNGUS:

“This story is like a breath of fresh air. Modern and quick-witted, it moves along at a fast pace and displays a sense of humor atypical for the genre. The characters’ voices are unique, the dialogue utterly realistic. The relationships between the characters ring true; they can be strained without being horrific, fun without reading like a comedy. Despite the sometimes-serious subject matter, this story is filled with hope, and its conclusion is no exception. Jamie’s too nice a guy not to end up with a happily ever after — who he ends up with, though, isn’t as simple as one might think.

Charming, entertaining, and contemporary. Not to be missed.”

Alexa Snow, author of Clear Cut and Sleeping Stone

Buy it on Amazon for 99 cents: Talking About Fungus by T.J. Baer

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This new version of the novel includes a brand new cover designed by Yours Truly, the original image of which you can see below in all its poorly drawn glory:

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The book has also been cleansed of its unholy typo infestation (wherein MS Word spell check for some reason changed “pink-a-holic” to “pink-a-Hollis,” because of course), and features many other wonderful things like words and punctuation and more words! Wow!

So, head on over to Amazon and pick up a copy – the Pride Price of 99 cents will stay in effect until the end of the month, so you have until then to purchase a copy and insist that everyone you have ever met likewise purchases one.

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Now go, my pretties. FLYYYYYYY to Amazon and BUYYYYY~~~!

Chosen, Pride Month, and a girl named Silas

Hello, friends. I’m back with an update, because it’s Sunday again and there are no lengths to which I won’t go to put off doing housework.

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Over the last few days, I’ve been writingwritingwriting, working hard on Chosen, A.K.A. my Gay Fantasy Epic (TM).

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It’s been going surprisingly well, to the extent that I’m now at the midpoint of the book, and A Very Dramatic Occurrence has just Occurred. I’m now actually reaching the point where I have to try to connect the beginning chapters of the story (which I wrote within the last few months) with the latter half of the story (which I wrote quite a long time ago) and see if they actually fit together, or if I’ll have to redo the whole bloody rest of the book.

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Yep, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to rewrite the whole thing.

But hey, if it ends with me having written an awesome book of awesomeness, it’ll all have been worth it.

In other Chosen news, I’ve gender-switched one of the characters from a vicious boy bully named Silas…to a vicious girl bully named Silas. And I have to confess that I kind of like the idea of a girl named Silas, so the name may end up staying through to the final draft.

In non-Chosen news, June is Pride Month (insert explosion of rainbows here), so I shall offer up some pride in the girl-loving side of my bisexual self and say that Gwen from Merlin is pretty smokin’ in this gif:

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Do you deny it? CAN you deny it?

Didn’t think so.

So, on that note, I’ll be on my way, back to writing and listening to music and wishing fervently that my laundry would head on down to the laundry room and wash itself. I’m sure if I stare at it for long enough and continue to make shooing motions, it’ll get the idea.

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Yeah, I may be a tiny bit sleep-deprived.

On location-challenged bananas and nasal psychics

Greetings, internet. As usual, it’s been awhile.

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One of these days I’ll get the hang of updating my blog in a timely manner, but alas, probably not anytime soon. I have high hopes for my retirement, however.

Anyway, I come to you today with an Important Message! (Which you know is important due to the expert use of capitalization.)

As you know, I have books and you can buy them. But do you know who else has books you can buy?

MY MOTHER. (!)

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Yes, indeed, friends. Me dear ole Mum’s just recently released three kids’ books of the Extremely Awesome variety, and if you head on over to Amazon and order them now, for a limited time only, you can receive my undying love and gratitude. WHAT A DEAL.

But yes, a quick primer on my mom’s work:

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bananasThe Nasal Psychic: Big-nosed, tuba-playing Jeremy Farklesworth used to lead a perfectly ordinary life—until his voice changed. Now he’s smelling things no one else can smell, like dog poop, cigarette smoke, and sweaty gym socks. Three days after he smells funeral flowers, old Mrs. Munzer from down the street dies. Jeremy is stunned to realize the truth: his nose is psychic!

Sparkle: When the mildly dysfunctional Buxford family takes a working vacation to renovate Great Aunt Dot’s run-down mansion, the last thing twelve-year-old Brandy expects is a summer of adventure and intrigue. But that’s exactly what she gets as she unravels a cold-case mystery dating back to Dot’s girlhood days. In her search for the truth, Brandy stumbles onto a wondrous place that just might hold the key to solving the mystery. But something terrible happened there long ago—and when history decides to repeat itself, Brandy finds herself facing horrors that threaten her very life.

Bananas in Strange Places: (My personal favorite.) Dorothy’s house may have landed in Oz, but Chloe Lamont’s is someplace just as weird: halfway down the Sears wing in the Oasis Mall. Chloe hates living at the mall—and things only get worse when somebody starts vandalizing stores, using materials from the Lamonts’ house. While searching for clues to catch the real vandal, Chloe and her friends make a shocking discovery. And that’s when things get really crazy…

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Sound good, right? (The correct answer is: “Right.”) You want to rush right over to Amazon RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT and buy them, don’t you? (The correct answer is: “Yes.”) You’re forever indebted to me for alerting you to their existence, aren’t you? (The correct answer is: “Yes, we love you. We will never forsake you and will spend the rest of our lives attempting to pay you back for this kindness with a wealth of expensive gifts and various kinds of chocolate.”)

So, now that you’ve decided without question to go buy multiple copies of these books (no backsies allowed), here’s my dear mother’s Official Site:

 

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http://www.kimberlybaer.com/

Aside from Amazon links, you can find a variety of other nifty stuff on her site, particularly geared towards nurturing creativity in kids. And really, what better use of your childhood is there than being awesomely creative?

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News and Benedict Cumberbatch

So, as you may have noticed from the deafening silence over the last few weeks, this business of updating my blog regularly is not going quite as well as expected. After a long day of teaching, I tend to want to spend my evening melting into a comfy chair and either watching Benedict Cumberbatch videos random videos starring no one in particular or stalking tumblr. The idea of using my brain for anything beyond deciding what to have for dinner is less than appealing, and thus, no new entries have appeared.

So, yes, score 1 for breaking New Year’s resolutions in record time.

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Today is Saturday, however, and as Chicago is in the midst of yet another snowstorm of doom, I have a moment to turn my attention to blogging.

So! Onto some actual news:

1. First off, I now have an official Facebook page on, funnily enough, Facebook:

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T.J. Baer: Official Facebook Page

Head on over and give it a like so I may look more popular than I actually am. <3

2. Second, my short story, Not A Love Story, now has its own page over on Goodreads:

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Goodreads | Not A Love Story by T.J. Baer

As it’s only just been added, it’s sadly without rating or review, so if anyone would like to go give it a bit of love, that would be greatly appreciated. If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, you can pick up a copy (though not literally, as it’s an ebook and thus very difficult to get a grip on) on Amazon.

3. And…I don’t actually have any other news, but it seems wrong to only have two points, so here is a third one. Enjoy.


I’m hoping to get some writing done on Chosen today (more on that story here if you missed it), though that will probably only happen if I unplug my modem and ignore the existence of the internet for a few hours.

benedict-mrdefrinRe: Chosen, I had a minor epiphany moment the other day when I noticed that I was unconsciously reading one character’s lines in Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice – and this made me realize that, in the imaginary casting for the imaginary movie of my as-of-yet-unfinished novel, he would be pretty much perfect for the role of Mr. Defrin, the kind, dry-witted mentor/father figure of the main character.

(He would actually be perfect for nearly ALL the roles in the story, as he can play just about any role convincingly, but never mind that.)

I used to have all the main characters cast, actually (James Marsters as sarcastic, cheekboney Kaine, Jamie Bamber as nice-guy Nicholas, and Ioan Gruffudd as Darek, the prissiest priss who ever prissed), but as that was about ten years ago, they’re all a bit too old now. Damn.

So, I suppose I’d better get cracking on this story before another era of actors get too old for it.  (Because clearly the only obstacle to having my little fantasy novel turned into a Hollywood blockbuster is aging actors.)

And on that note, I’ll be on my way. I have a very important decision to make now, namely whether to have ramen or leftover pizza for lunch.

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