Totally not evil

And we’re back for another insane and illogical installment of

fftg_fridays_bigger

When we last left our heroes (in chapter one, chapter two, and the somehow-worse-than-both-previous-chapters-combined chapter three), T.J. and Rendar were on a secret mission that involved kissing awkwardly for A Totally Plausible Reason; Jen had just met a gorgeous, heroic, and trusted-completely-by-everyone sergeant named Steve; and in a thrilling science fictiony climax, there was a mighty space battle that concluded when  the Sffon Cruisers were tricked into destroying themselves via Three Stooges Pie Fight logic.

pie-fight-stooges

In this chapter: T.J. and Rendar are attacked by the slowest moving fighter in the history of space warfare, Jessica receives a medal for her tactical genius, and we at last learn the identity of the Sffon spy. (Hint: It’s the guy smiling evilly at the camera when bad news arrives.)

Read on for the next ridiculous chapter of Fighting For the Galaxy…!

Continue reading “Totally not evil”

Chapter 3: Which is somehow worse than the previous chapters combined

fftg_fridays_bigger

Welcome back, eager readers, to the third installment of the thrilling, high-quality, not-at-all-silly science fiction masterpiece of my 13-year-old self,  Fighting For the Galaxy!

To get you in the right mood, here’s some heroic space battle music courtesy of YouTube:

And boy, is this a chapter deserving of epic music, as it features an ASTOUNDING space battle with a NOT AT ALL STUPID conclusion! Wow!

Of course, the majority of the chapter involves T.J. and Rendar reluctantly locking lips while Jess and Mark attend Jen’s totally rockin’ party, but what sci-fi fan isn’t dying to know how Mark and Jess met, or how cute Jen’s new guy, Steve, is? (Spoilers: He is TOTALLY cute.)

So, venture below, intrepid readers, and journey once more into the distant future of 2007…!

Continue reading “Chapter 3: Which is somehow worse than the previous chapters combined”

In which there is more Fighting For the Galaxy

Welcome, friends, to another exciting installment of…

fftg_fridays_bigger

But T.J., you may be saying (out loud to your computer). Didn’t we just have a Fighting For the Galaxy Friday Thursday yesterday?

And the answer is that yes, yes we did. But it has come to my attention that as today is actually Friday, I am honor-bound to provide another chapter of gif-laden science fiction dreck to you, my faithful readers, or risk tarnishing my good name forever.

So, put on your flight helmets and get into a consequence-free shouting match with your superior officer, because it’s time for another thrilling chapter of FIGHTING FOR THE GALAXY…!

When we last left our heroes, Commander T.J. Baer (and her faithful friends, Jen and Jess) had just refused to participate in a space battle against the murderous Sffon Collective because it was an obvious, neon-lights-flashing Trap. Captain Torel Abrigio, fingers planted firmly in his ears, dismissed T.J.’s warnings and ordered the fleet to proceed – and they were all blown to bits, including the majority of the planet Saturn (for some reason). When we rejoin our heroes, Captain Abrigio, T.J., Jess, Jen, and a few other survivors are facing down the fearsome Council of the Galactic Military to defend their actions.

And because I was thirteen when I wrote this, there will also be a swingin’ party where there are, like, boys and stuff.

AND NOW BACK OUR STORY:

Continue reading “In which there is more Fighting For the Galaxy”

Fighting For the Galaxy Fridays

Summer, 1996: I was thirteen, and my mom, brothers, and I were living at my grandparents’ house until our new house was ready to move into. It was a good summer for many reasons (sword battles with curtain rods come to mind, for example), but it also marked a milestone in my life:

furioustyping

It was the summer I wrote my first novel.

Holed up in my uncle’s old bedroom with its olive green carpeting and slightly sunken mattress, I spent night after night hunched over my mom’s word processor, listening to *insert 90s bands here* on the radio and composing what I hoped would be a science fiction masterpiece.

Said masterpiece was entitled, “Fighting For the Galaxy,” and was my first foray into the glorious realm of the Mary Sue. It starred  25-year-old Commander T.J. Baer of the Galactic Military, fighting alongside her best friends, Jen and Jessica, against the murderous Sffon Collective. It featured space battles, aliens, romance, betrayal, intrigue, inexplicably bikini-clad maids, and a guy named Rendar. And it was, I felt at the time, the finest thing I – or, quite possibly, any other author in the history of mankind – had ever written.

The other day, while going through a box of old writings, I found Fighting For the Galaxy. And I am here now to tell you that it is both phenomenally bad and completely hilarious. For those reasons, I will be sharing  it here on this blog as part of a regular installment I will be calling…

fftg_fridays

Boom.

Of course, today is Thursday, but why split hairs when there’s awful, hilarious pseudo sci-fi to be shared?

Continue reading “Fighting For the Galaxy Fridays”

In which the dreadful consequences are revealed

It would seem that my six-hour journey yesterday was not without consequences. Yes. For you see, the sad truth of the matter is… I’m sick. On the plus side, at the moment it’s just a bit of a sore throat plus a general overwhelming feeling of you’re sick you’re sick you’re sick just in case you forgot for a minute HEY you’re sick…but as I … Continue reading In which the dreadful consequences are revealed

Chosen cover reveal!

Despite my lingering headache (and growing certainty that I really shouldn’t have eaten that extra piece of chocolate), I’m pleased to offer you all a first glimpse of the cover of Chosen! Long-time readers (and psychics) will recognize Chosen as the LGBT fantasy series I’ve mentioned approximately 75,000 times since starting this blog, and others will not recognize it at all, because the world is … Continue reading Chosen cover reveal!

Sleep deprivation, take #578093248234

Massively sleep-deprived, wheeeee! Second night in a row that I’ve been kept awake by a nasty headache, then awakened later when Benny decided to practice his feline yodeling in the wee hours of the morning. On the plus side, being up early means I have a nice long period of time in which to get over my headache before work, so…that’s good, right? RIGHT? It … Continue reading Sleep deprivation, take #578093248234