In which I am still weird, queer, and vegan, but now in Virginia

January 5, 2020January 5, 2020 T.J. Baer Blog, Cooking, Vegan and Vegetarian apolitical, back, chili, chocolate chia seed pudding, christmas, food, general weirdness, holidays, i have returned, vegan, veganism, virginia, washington dc, y so expensive dc

TJ, where have you been? Our lives are empty and meaningless without you! WHY, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US?

I hear your cries, dear readers, and for that reason I have returned. You may rest easy now that your source of incoherent rambles about veganism, writing, and queer culture is back, and you no longer need cry into your pillow at 3 AM, staring up at the moon and wondering if I, too, am staring up at that very same moon.

As you can see, the time away has not done much to improve my general state of weirdness. Continue reading →

In which nicotine and Mitt Romney break my fragile heart

December 26, 2015December 27, 2015 T.J. Baer Blog, General Weirdness, LGBT a tragic love story of tragic-ness, doctor who, general weirdness, LGBT, princess bubblegum, spongebob, thomas brodie-sangster, truly an entry worth waiting for

So, it’s been awhile. A long while. A very long while. Vast ages of the earth have passed, civilizations have risen and fallen, lizardy creatures have risen from amoeba-filled puddles to reign over the land and subsequently be wiped out of existence, and during all that time, I have somehow failed to update my blog.

For my faithful readers, few and potentially mentally unstable though they may be, I offer my deepest apologies.

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In any case, rather than getting too deeply into what I’ve been up to over the last few months (working, writing, writing, working, etc.), I’ll jump straight into the Very Important subject of this entry.

Today, dear readers, I would like to speak to you about a girl. And not just any girl, but The Girl, whose path happened to cross mine for one beautiful and fleeting train ride yesterday morning. What follows is a story of love and heartbreak, beauty and tragedy, lipstick and disappointing bumper stickers, in which the fondest desires of my fragile little heart were dashed to pieces by cruel, cruel fate.

Read on, friends, and ready yourselves for a tale of utmost woe.

Continue reading →

Totally Real Celebrity Interviews #1: Benedict Cumberbatch

December 13, 2014December 13, 2014 T.J. Baer Books, General Weirdness, Totally Real Celebrity Interviews benedict cumberbatch, books, egomania via ms paint, general weirdness, sleep deprivation, totally real celebrity interviews

My Bistrips avatar recently sat down with a Benedict Cumberbatch glamour photo to have a serious talk about his life, career, and who he thinks is the best author in the entire room.

Here is that groundbreaking interview in its entirety:

/sleep deprivation strikes again

Sleep deprivation, take #578093248234

December 4, 2014 T.J. Baer Blog, Books, General Weirdness, Teacher Life, Works In Progress, Writing abed, arthur, chosen, community, dean, general weirdness, gif attack, jon stewart, merlin, self-publishing, sleep deprivation, vader says wheeee, wonders of wifi, writing

Massively sleep-deprived, wheeeee!

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Second night in a row that I’ve been kept awake by a nasty headache, then awakened later when Benny decided to practice his feline yodeling in the wee hours of the morning.

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On the plus side, being up early means I have a nice long period of time in which to get over my headache before work, so…that’s good, right? RIGHT?

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It does, Arthur. It really does.

In less obnoxious news, the work on getting Chosen publish-ready is moving along nicely. The cover of the book is nearly done, which means that there’ll be a terribly exciting Cover Reveal post at some point in the future, because what’s the point of having a cover if you can’t do a terribly exciting cover reveal post?

In other-other news, due to the unfortunate demise of my laptop, I’m currently in possession of a Shiny New Laptop and – due to said laptop not having anywhere for me to plug in my modem – a similarly shiny and new router. Which means that, for the first time in my impoverished teacher/writer life, I am in possession of WiFi, and can thus access the internet ANYWHERE IN MY APARTMENT.

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At the table by the windows? INTERNET. On my bed? INTERNET. Perched on top of the refrigerator for some reason? INTERNET.

Amazing.

(I realize that everyone else has had wifi for approximately six thousand years, but I shall bask in the shiny newness of it nonetheless.)

Anyway. Not much else going on. Thanksgiving was lovely and taught me the valuable life lesson that giblets are pretty freaking gross. Also, ya know, love and family and gratitude and such, but man, those giblets.

Anyway, as I seem to be losing my tenuous grip on coherence, let me bid you adieu for now, hopefully to return at a later time when I’m less sleep-deprived (or have a bit more caffeine in my system).

Best wishes to all for a non-sucky day~~~!

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Being Luke Skywalker (and other dreams of an 11-year-old girl)

August 21, 2014August 21, 2014 T.J. Baer Blog front flip your way to success, general weirdness, jedi envy, luke skywalker, mini-me, star wars

So, when I was a kid, I wanted nothing more than to be Luke Skywalker. Not whiny farmboy Luke or patience-challenged who-is-this-muppet-and-where-the-hell-is-Yoda Luke, but kick-ass, calm and cool and awesome Return of the Jedi Luke.

To pursue this lofty goal (as, I should mention, an 11-year-old girl living in small-town Pennsylvania), I did a number of things. First, wardrobe. Very important. Black shirt, black pants, black boots, black leather glove on one hand. Check. Next, attitude. I amassed an impressive amount of Jedi knowledge through meticulous study of the three Star Wars films and related books, magazines, etc. Finally, action. I fenced for hours with various lightsaber-esque weapons (sticks, curtain rods, ski poles, etc.), I rode my bike at breakneck speeds to emulate the desperate flight through the forests of Endor on speeder bikes, and most importantly of all, I spent an inordinate amount of time staring at rocks and pencils and various other small objects, attempting to move them with the almighty power of my mind. (Sadly, the Force was not strong with me, though I did get rather adept at subtly tilting the table so the pencil I was concentrating on MIRACULOUSLY AND AMAZINGLY began to move as I stared at it.)

And in the end, did I achieve my goal of becoming Luke Skywalker? Well…in fact, no. But my time in pursuit of Jedi-dom did mold my psyche in some pretty deep, lasting ways. My sense of right and wrong, my urge to help people who need it (despite my own rather strong introvert tendencies), and the general sense that there’s good in most people, even if they’ve gone a wee bit crazy and murdered half the galaxy while wearing a freaky black mask. (And really, haven’t we all been there?)

My point, I suppose, is that Luke Skywalker was probably the biggest fictional role model of my young life, and even today I can see his influence on the way I think and how I view the world. And really, I’m okay with that. I still think Luke’s pretty awesome, and he represents a lot of the things I aspire to be. Will I ever be able to move objects with my mind and do crazy flips and communicate telepathically with my sister who I absolutely was not hitting on just one movie ago? Alas, probably not. But I’d like to think that I can at least aspire to be a calm, in-control person who always tries to do what’s right, and maybe looks pretty spiffy dressed all in black.

Wise words, Luke. Wise words.