Chapter 3: Which is somehow worse than the previous chapters combined

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Welcome back, eager readers, to the third installment of the thrilling, high-quality, not-at-all-silly science fiction masterpiece of my 13-year-old self,  Fighting For the Galaxy!

To get you in the right mood, here’s some heroic space battle music courtesy of YouTube:

And boy, is this a chapter deserving of epic music, as it features an ASTOUNDING space battle with a NOT AT ALL STUPID conclusion! Wow!

Of course, the majority of the chapter involves T.J. and Rendar reluctantly locking lips while Jess and Mark attend Jen’s totally rockin’ party, but what sci-fi fan isn’t dying to know how Mark and Jess met, or how cute Jen’s new guy, Steve, is? (Spoilers: He is TOTALLY cute.)

So, venture below, intrepid readers, and journey once more into the distant future of 2007…!

Continue reading “Chapter 3: Which is somehow worse than the previous chapters combined”

Fighting For the Galaxy Fridays

Summer, 1996: I was thirteen, and my mom, brothers, and I were living at my grandparents’ house until our new house was ready to move into. It was a good summer for many reasons (sword battles with curtain rods come to mind, for example), but it also marked a milestone in my life:

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It was the summer I wrote my first novel.

Holed up in my uncle’s old bedroom with its olive green carpeting and slightly sunken mattress, I spent night after night hunched over my mom’s word processor, listening to *insert 90s bands here* on the radio and composing what I hoped would be a science fiction masterpiece.

Said masterpiece was entitled, “Fighting For the Galaxy,” and was my first foray into the glorious realm of the Mary Sue. It starred  25-year-old Commander T.J. Baer of the Galactic Military, fighting alongside her best friends, Jen and Jessica, against the murderous Sffon Collective. It featured space battles, aliens, romance, betrayal, intrigue, inexplicably bikini-clad maids, and a guy named Rendar. And it was, I felt at the time, the finest thing I – or, quite possibly, any other author in the history of mankind – had ever written.

The other day, while going through a box of old writings, I found Fighting For the Galaxy. And I am here now to tell you that it is both phenomenally bad and completely hilarious. For those reasons, I will be sharing  it here on this blog as part of a regular installment I will be calling…

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Boom.

Of course, today is Thursday, but why split hairs when there’s awful, hilarious pseudo sci-fi to be shared?

Continue reading “Fighting For the Galaxy Fridays”

Sleep deprivation, take #578093248234

Massively sleep-deprived, wheeeee! Second night in a row that I’ve been kept awake by a nasty headache, then awakened later when Benny decided to practice his feline yodeling in the wee hours of the morning. On the plus side, being up early means I have a nice long period of time in which to get over my headache before work, so…that’s good, right? RIGHT? It … Continue reading Sleep deprivation, take #578093248234

Queer Investigations, or possibly another title altogether.

So, you know that thing I said about updating more frequently? Yeah, not so much. Anyway, since I’m sure you’re all absolutely burning to know what I’ve been up to, I’ll tell you. First off, I’ve been studying a great deal of Japanese, because I have a deep masochistic streak and want my brain to shrivel up and die, apparently. I’ve also been doing a … Continue reading Queer Investigations, or possibly another title altogether.

On peanut butter and my gay fantasy epic

So, today I thought I’d write a bit about my Gay Fantasy Epic (TM), as I mention it approximately 26,000 times per post and people may in fact be wondering what the hell I’m talking about. I also can’t think of a single other thing to write about, aside from a detailed description of my breakfast and a general wondering as to why I end … Continue reading On peanut butter and my gay fantasy epic

This is a blog post! Wow! Amazing!

So, I’m going to try this interesting new thing called “updating my blog on a semi-regular basis.” I know. Shocking. We’ll see how it goes. So, for my first Updating My Blog On A Semi-Regular Basis (UMBOASRB?) entry: Ummmm. Hm. Ah, got it. Things I’ve been doing recently! 1. Watching a great deal of Sherlock 2. Thinking a great deal about Sherlock 3. Cursing winter and its … Continue reading This is a blog post! Wow! Amazing!