Talking About Fungus: Book Trailer 2014

Presenting, a shoddily made and amateurishly drawn book trailer for my novel, Talking About Fungus! Watch, like, share, and just generally pimp it out to everyone you have ever met or will ever meet, and everyone they’ve ever met, as well as their children, parents, dogs, and hamsters! Let it spread, like fungus, which we can then talk about!

Direct link: http://youtu.be/2lNRai9ttPg
Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L6FFOCW

…I may need to calm down. In my defense, I’ve been fiddling with Windows Movie Maker all morning and that’s enough to destroy anyone’s sanity.

 

Cheap fungus! Spread the word!

In honor of Pride Month, I’m pleased to announce that my first novel, Talking About Fungus, is now available for only 99 cents in Amazon’s Kindle Store!

avatar_sokka_keyboardsmash

TAF_amazon_screengrab

Talking About Fungus [Kindle Version] $0.99

__________________________________________________________

TAF_newcover_02-biggersize

Talking About Fungus
by T.J. Baer

Jamie knows by now that breaking up with a guy is not the end of the world. After taking a few deep breaths and giving a pair of his ex’s underwear to the cat to shred, he’s prepared to forget all about ole What’s-His-Name and get his life back in order.

But then his little sister barges in for a visit, his homophobic dad shows up after two years of stony silence, and to make matters worse, his best friend seems to be falling in love with him.

Just when Jamie’s fantasizing about running off to a monastery and joining up, he meets Mr. Right in a hospital waiting room thanks to the matchmaking powers of the Great Bard. Abe is unlike anyone Jamie’s ever met, let alone dated, and things finally seem to be looking up.

A phone call changes all that, though, and Jamie finds himself flying home with his sister and his best friend for a bedside vigil. Will Jamie make peace with his family before it’s too late? Will Abe forgive him for missing their second date without even a phone call?

Warnings: Strong language, sexual situations, disparaging remarks toward goatees.

PRAISE FOR TALKING ABOUT FUNGUS:

“This story is like a breath of fresh air. Modern and quick-witted, it moves along at a fast pace and displays a sense of humor atypical for the genre. The characters’ voices are unique, the dialogue utterly realistic. The relationships between the characters ring true; they can be strained without being horrific, fun without reading like a comedy. Despite the sometimes-serious subject matter, this story is filled with hope, and its conclusion is no exception. Jamie’s too nice a guy not to end up with a happily ever after — who he ends up with, though, isn’t as simple as one might think.

Charming, entertaining, and contemporary. Not to be missed.”

Alexa Snow, author of Clear Cut and Sleeping Stone

Buy it on Amazon for 99 cents: Talking About Fungus by T.J. Baer

_________________________________________________________

This new version of the novel includes a brand new cover designed by Yours Truly, the original image of which you can see below in all its poorly drawn glory:

taf_coverdoodles_v2_02-sm

The book has also been cleansed of its unholy typo infestation (wherein MS Word spell check for some reason changed “pink-a-holic” to “pink-a-Hollis,” because of course), and features many other wonderful things like words and punctuation and more words! Wow!

So, head on over to Amazon and pick up a copy – the Pride Price of 99 cents will stay in effect until the end of the month, so you have until then to purchase a copy and insist that everyone you have ever met likewise purchases one.

 atla_sokka_library!

Now go, my pretties. FLYYYYYYY to Amazon and BUYYYYY~~~!

On location-challenged bananas and nasal psychics

Greetings, internet. As usual, it’s been awhile.

merlin-fall

One of these days I’ll get the hang of updating my blog in a timely manner, but alas, probably not anytime soon. I have high hopes for my retirement, however.

Anyway, I come to you today with an Important Message! (Which you know is important due to the expert use of capitalization.)

As you know, I have books and you can buy them. But do you know who else has books you can buy?

MY MOTHER. (!)

benedict_itstrue

Yes, indeed, friends. Me dear ole Mum’s just recently released three kids’ books of the Extremely Awesome variety, and if you head on over to Amazon and order them now, for a limited time only, you can receive my undying love and gratitude. WHAT A DEAL.

But yes, a quick primer on my mom’s work:

________________________________________________________

bananasThe Nasal Psychic: Big-nosed, tuba-playing Jeremy Farklesworth used to lead a perfectly ordinary life—until his voice changed. Now he’s smelling things no one else can smell, like dog poop, cigarette smoke, and sweaty gym socks. Three days after he smells funeral flowers, old Mrs. Munzer from down the street dies. Jeremy is stunned to realize the truth: his nose is psychic!

Sparkle: When the mildly dysfunctional Buxford family takes a working vacation to renovate Great Aunt Dot’s run-down mansion, the last thing twelve-year-old Brandy expects is a summer of adventure and intrigue. But that’s exactly what she gets as she unravels a cold-case mystery dating back to Dot’s girlhood days. In her search for the truth, Brandy stumbles onto a wondrous place that just might hold the key to solving the mystery. But something terrible happened there long ago—and when history decides to repeat itself, Brandy finds herself facing horrors that threaten her very life.

Bananas in Strange Places: (My personal favorite.) Dorothy’s house may have landed in Oz, but Chloe Lamont’s is someplace just as weird: halfway down the Sears wing in the Oasis Mall. Chloe hates living at the mall—and things only get worse when somebody starts vandalizing stores, using materials from the Lamonts’ house. While searching for clues to catch the real vandal, Chloe and her friends make a shocking discovery. And that’s when things get really crazy…

________________________________________________________

burt-book

Sound good, right? (The correct answer is: “Right.”) You want to rush right over to Amazon RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT and buy them, don’t you? (The correct answer is: “Yes.”) You’re forever indebted to me for alerting you to their existence, aren’t you? (The correct answer is: “Yes, we love you. We will never forsake you and will spend the rest of our lives attempting to pay you back for this kindness with a wealth of expensive gifts and various kinds of chocolate.”)

So, now that you’ve decided without question to go buy multiple copies of these books (no backsies allowed), here’s my dear mother’s Official Site:

 

momsite

http://www.kimberlybaer.com/

Aside from Amazon links, you can find a variety of other nifty stuff on her site, particularly geared towards nurturing creativity in kids. And really, what better use of your childhood is there than being awesomely creative?

merlin-thumbsup

Rain Would Come

rainwouldcome_smallcoverRain Would Come
by T.J. Baer

Soon, maybe very soon, she was going to die.

On the eve of her sixty-fourth birthday, Barbara wakes up with the certainty that she’s going to die, and soon. But when? How? And what will happen after?

Determined to make the most of her last days, Barbara invites a certain lovely lady to accompany her to the beach for an afternoon of sun, wine, and talking about eternity.

A rich, poignant tale of death, life, and two older ladies in love.

Click below to read Rain Would Come in full!

Rain_Would_Come_TJ_Baer

If you’d like a paperback copy of the story, it’s available on Amazon here. Kindle version is available here.

Following Grandpa Jess: Now available!

Great news, folks: My new novel, Following Grandpa Jess, is now available for purchase on the Bold Strokes Books web site!

Buying a copy is quick and easy, and they have every variety of eBook you could possibly want. And it’s only $4.99! Go forth and buy it, my friends~!

Following Grandpa Jess300 dpi

Following Grandpa Jess, by T.J. Baer

Jess Madison has problems. His aging parents seem hell-bent on belittling him in new and increasingly infuriating ways, he’s fallen for his best—and, unfortunately, heterosexual—friend David, and his grandmother has recently taken to climbing out on her roof in hopes of contacting the spirit of her late husband, the much-beloved Grandpa Jess.

All Jess wants to do is live his life and feed his goldfish in peace, but instead he finds himself at the heart of a familial clash that seems ready to tear his family apart. With the help of his two younger brothers, uber-manly AJ and lovably weird Thomas, Jess sets out to reconcile his family, keep Grandma off the roof, and sort out the mess his life has become—with just a little help from Grandpa Jess.

Author: TJ Baer
Price: $4.99
Pub Date: July 2013
ISBN 13: 9781626390263E

Get your copy here: http://www.boldstrokesbooks.com/products.php?product=Following-Grandpa-Jess-%252d-by-TJ-Baer-eBook

To read a sample of the book, venture below:

Continue reading

Talking About Fungus – Now available in print!

In honor of Pride Month, a revised, print version of my first novel is now available for purchase! YAY! Now go buy it.  :P

TALKING ABOUT FUNGUS
by T.J. Baer

TalkingAboutFungus_TJBaer_Cover

Jamie knows by now that breaking up with a guy is not the end of the world. After taking a few deep breaths and giving a pair of Justin’s underwear to the cat to shred, he’s prepared to forget all about ole What’s-His-Name and get his life back in order.

But then his little sister barges in for a visit, his homophobic dad shows up after two years of stony silence, and to make matters worse, his best friend seems to be falling in love with him.

Just when Jamie’s fantasizing about running off to a monastery and joining up, he meets Mr. Right in a hospital waiting room thanks to the matchmaking powers of the Great Bard. Abe is unlike anyone Jamie’s ever met, let alone dated, and things finally seem to be looking up.

A phone call changes all that, though, and Jamie finds himself flying home with his sister and his best friend for a bedside vigil. Will Jamie make peace with his family before it’s too late? Will Abe forgive him for missing their second date without even a phone call?

Now with Author Q&A and fewer ellipses! :D

Purchase:

CreateSpace | Amazon | Kindle Edition

PRAISE FOR TALKING ABOUT FUNGUS:

“This story is like a breath of fresh air. Modern and quick-witted, it moves along at a fast pace and displays a sense of humor atypical for the genre. The characters’ voices are unique, the dialogue utterly realistic. The relationships between the characters ring true; they can be strained without being horrific, fun without reading like a comedy. Despite the sometimes-serious subject matter, this story is filled with hope, and its conclusion is no exception. Jamie’s too nice a guy not to end up with a happily ever after — who he ends up with, though, isn’t as simple as one might think.

Charming, entertaining, and contemporary. Not to be missed.”

Alexa Snow, author of Clear Cut and Sleeping Stone