In which I do my civic duty (and nearly get hypothermia)

This week was a historic one for me, friends. After years of evading it due to being out of the country or in another state, it finally happened: I was summoned for jury duty, and I actually had to go.

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It wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it could’ve been, and I’m glad to have had the opportunity to learn more about our justice system (the primary lesson being that it’s slower than an arthritic snail), but even so, the whole experience was still something of a…well, trial.

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Fighting For the Galaxy: Chapter 8!

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Welcome back to Fighting For the Galaxy Fridays,  actually on a Friday for once! Wow!

In our last installment of hilariously bad pseudo-sci-fi, Captain Torel Abrigio charged off to the dangerous planet Sffonia in search of the shot-five-times-but-surprisingly-mobile Jessica, while T.J. cunningly blamed her knowledge of the Sffon codes on resident bad guy and turncoat Steve Phelps. As a reward for her information, the Sffon decided not to execute her, and instead are sending her off to be a human slave at some rich dude’s house, because sure, that sounds plausible.

Will T.J. be able to escape before she’s forced to don a ridiculously skimpy uniform and give stirring speeches about equality to her captors’ children? Will Abrigio somehow spot Jessica in minutes despite the fact that she could literally be anywhere on the entire planet of Sffonia? And will Mark actually kill someone by throwing a fork at them because he saw it in a movie once? (Answer: Yes. Yes, he will.)

Read on to find out the answers to these and more burning questions..!

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I feel pretty and witty and…

Because “gay” really should go back to meaning “happy,” some smile-inducing LGBTQ tidbits from around the web:

1. Gandalf and Dumbledore got married across the street from the Westboro Baptist Church, and it was – wait for it – magical.

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http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/06/10/that-magical-moment-dumbledore-and-gandalf-got-married-across-from-westboro-baptist-church/

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Mazel tov, gentlemen. <3 Continue reading

Of giveaways and musical bosoms

Reminder: You, yes you, can win a signed, advance reader copy of Book I of Chosen!


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When a mark on your skin decides whether you live or die…

A knock on the door, a voice in the night, and fifteen-year-old Kaine Ikarra’s world changes forever. His father has disappeared and no one will say what’s happened to him, only that he’s gone and won’t be coming back. Kaine and his mother flee the city in the middle of the night, running from whatever nameless terror has stolen his father away, and Kaine soon finds himself on the other side of the country in a small town called Aurora.

Aurora is quiet, idyllic, and the most dangerous place in the world for Kaine. Kaine has a secret, a glowing mark on his skin that grants him great powers—and could condemn him to death at the hands of his conservative new neighbors. According to the Book of the Gods, he is an abomination who must be put to death, and he knows that the devout people of Aurora won’t hesitate to do just that if they find out what he is.

In this world of danger, Kaine finds unexpected friends, powerful enemies, and a web of secrets that may finally lead him to unravel the mystery of his father’s disappearance—if he can stay alive long enough to find out.


How to enter: All you have to do is head over to Facebook and like my official author page and BAM, you’re entered.

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http://www.facebook.com/tjbaerofficial

The contest will end on Friday, December 19th, so get yourself entered ASAP. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait for the actual publication date of the book like everyone else, and who has the patience for that?

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Anyway, as I’m tired and it’s past my old lady bedtime, I shall leave you now with these immortal words from Blanche Devereaux:

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Goodnight, friends. <3

In which the dreadful consequences are revealed

It would seem that my six-hour journey yesterday was not without consequences.

Yes. For you see, the sad truth of the matter is…

I’m sick.

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On the plus side, at the moment it’s just a bit of a sore throat plus a general overwhelming feeling of you’re sick you’re sick you’re sick just in case you forgot for a minute HEY you’re sick…but as I just took three sick days last week due to a stubborn bastard of a migraine, this is less than good.

Teaching, alas, is one of those professions where the ability to speak is somewhat integral, and in my current state, I can only talk for three or four minutes before my throat turns into a gritty stretch of desert highway and I suddenly start sounding like a pack-a-day blues singer on his death bed.

In addition, being self-employed, I’m perpetually only one paycheck away from financial ruin, particularly around the holidays. So, naturally, my body decided that now would be a hilarious time to come down with a nasty cold, because my body is kind of an asshole sometimes.

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Seen above: My body, being an asshole. Or Vader-somebody. I’m always getting those two mixed up.

On the plus side, I had the whole day today to rest and recuperate, so perhaps a Glorious Miracle will occur and I’ll wake up tomorrow 100% healed, HALLELUJAH!

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Or, more likely, I’ll wake up tomorrow and still feel like death, but I shall keep an optimistic attitude and trust in the power of positivity – as well as the gallons of Emergen-C I’ve been drowning myself in since my symptoms began this morning.

Think fondly of me, my friends, and should you have any spare healing vibes, do send them in my direction. If anyone needs me, I’ll be wrapped up in a sweaty cocoon of blankets, watching I Love Lucy and dreaming of a day when I no longer feel crappy, world peace is achieved, no one goes hungry, universal equality is the way of things, and each and every one of you goes and likes my Facebook page.

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For more on why doing so is in your best interest, check here. And then go like my Facebook page, because why not?

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Why not indeed.

/questions for the ages

Weenie roasts and blogger recruitment

It’s a lovely sunny morning, I have nowhere to go and nothing I have to do (aside from housework, but that’s easy enough to ignore), and it’s just about time for my second cup of tea. Life is good.

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Well, except for that whole thing about how very soon our country will be controlled entirely by a bunch of rich white guys who are determined to block any legislation that might help people who are not (straight, Christian) rich white guys.

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In less soul-destroying news, the Chosen publishing process is moving along nicely. An artist has been commissioned to design the cover, and I’ve had a review copy of the book printed up so I can press my nose up to the pages and scent out any typos, errors, or gaping plot holes as of yet undiscovered during the writing and editing process.

This isn’t the official cover, but here’s the cover of the review copy:

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Ooooh, (stock photo) fire.

In related news, I’m currently looking for bloggers or fellow authors who would be interested in writing review blurbs for the book. If you’re interested (or know someone who might be), drop me an email at tjbaerwrites@gmail.com. I’ll send you a free electronic copy of the book, and your review blurb will be included here on this site (and also possibly on the front or back cover of the book).

In case you’re not sure what to write, might I suggest one of the following?

1. “LITERALLY THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ OR WILL READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.”

2. “So good that Jon Stewart should immediately call up T.J. Baer and ask her to come on The Daily Show and talk about it.”

3. “I was really depressed about Republicans gaining control of the Senate, but reading this book made me feel like life had meaning again. Thank you, T.J.!”

Or something to that effect.

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Okay, not really. But any of the above will certainly get you a queen-sized helping of brownie points.