The Author vs. Clothing

Just in case you missed it, you are now, for the first time ever, able to read the first few chapters of my upcoming LGBT fantasy book, Chosen, a novel Jon Stewart will someday hail as, “The best book I ever would’ve discussed in front of a live studio audience if I were still doing book-related interviews on The Daily Show, but as I’m leaving the show in August, I guess I’ll never get the chance to shower T.J. Baer with well-deserved kudos and flaily fanboying. Sigh.”

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Sorry, Jon. You had your chance.

Read the first three chapters here.

In other news, my struggles against technology, entropy, and gravity continue, but today I’d like to talk about a different sort of struggle:

Fricking clothing.

adventuretime_lemonguy_clothes Continue reading

Chapter 3: Which is somehow worse than the previous chapters combined

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Welcome back, eager readers, to the third installment of the thrilling, high-quality, not-at-all-silly science fiction masterpiece of my 13-year-old self,  Fighting For the Galaxy!

To get you in the right mood, here’s some heroic space battle music courtesy of YouTube:

And boy, is this a chapter deserving of epic music, as it features an ASTOUNDING space battle with a NOT AT ALL STUPID conclusion! Wow!

Of course, the majority of the chapter involves T.J. and Rendar reluctantly locking lips while Jess and Mark attend Jen’s totally rockin’ party, but what sci-fi fan isn’t dying to know how Mark and Jess met, or how cute Jen’s new guy, Steve, is? (Spoilers: He is TOTALLY cute.)

So, venture below, intrepid readers, and journey once more into the distant future of 2007…!

Continue reading

Publishing plans and vengeance via diversity

I HAVE RETURNED. colin-bradley-thumbsup Yes, friends, after a lengthy holiday (and post-holiday hangover) hiatus, I have returned to the wondrous world of WordPress. Let us rejoice and be merry, and pretend that some of you actually remember who I am. Hurrah!

Now, onto business. First of all, let us discuss Chosen, A.K.A., my LGBT fantasy epic, A.K.A., the story I’ve been working on since I was a frail young thing of fifteen (and actually not that frail; I did sixty push-ups a day and was still capable of doing a one-armed handstand a’la Empire Strikes Back Luke). sw_luke-handstand (The hardest part was unraveling Yoda’s grammar while all the blood rushed to my head.)

But in any case, Chosen: chosen-frontcover_dec2014

The original plan was to go the indie author route and self-publish via Amazon. And that may still be what I end up doing, but for now, I’m trying a multi-tiered plan that involves first submitting Book I of Chosen to a few awesome-seeming literary agents, then (should none of them grasp the glory and wonder that is Chosen and snatch it up), submitting directly to a handful of publishers I’m interested in. Finally, if none of those pan out, we’ll go back to the original self-publishing plan.

There are pros and cons to all the above routes, but I figured there’s no harm in at least trying the traditional publishing route before committing to self-publishing. Sadly, this means a longer delay before the book is actually released, but if doing so means it can reach a wider audience and potentially bring me one step closer to the sell millions of copies and become so hugely successful that Jon Stewart asks me to come on The Daily Show to talk about my book dream, then it’s all worth it, baby.

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…it could totally happen. >_>

Anyway. At present, much of my non-teaching time is occupied by the business of sending out queries, polishing up my manuscript, and even doing a little work on Book II of Chosen. I’ve also added a bit more to Queer Investigations, a quirky little novel-in-progress that involves lesbians in Chicago solving paranormal mysteries, because that’s a gap in the market, amirite? queer-investigationscast_jan2015_zoe-saldana_keiko-agena_jamie_02

Ooh, MS Paint.

Casting for the aforementioned novel changes practically every day, but at present, my dream cast features Zoe Saldana playing logical, brilliant, and bookishly repressed Miranda, while Keiko Agena  steps into the starring role as sarcastic tea addict Lila Matsumoto.

I’m also working on a Buffy-esque Teen Girl Kicks the Crap Out of Monsters book, set in my hometown of Middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania. As aforementioned hometown is comprised of 90% Christian white people, I’ve challenged myself to the task of putting as much diversity into the cast of the novel as possible. Thus far, I’ve included a rainbow of races, religions, sexualities, and gender identities, and it gives me a strange feeling of satisfaction to populate my xenophobic little hometown with such an amalgamation of all that scares the bejeesus out of its inhabitants. Muwahahahaha. ill_lucy_blehh But in conclusion, I’m writing stuff, YAY.

And now I must go and prepare for the day’s lessons, and perhaps do a little writing or editing or stickin’ it to the man. Farewell for now, friends.

In which there are both questions and answers (!)

Welcome, friends, to the first installment of Ask Me Anything, a terribly exciting series in which readers are invited to (wait for it) ask me anything. Whee!

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Without further ado, let’s get to the first question:

Question 1: What are your favorite places to visit in Chicago, and why? -Vicky

Well, Vicky, that’s a fine question, and one I will now do my best to answer. (Because if I don’t, this will be a rather short and disappointing first installment of Ask Me Anything.)

To those who’ve never been, Chicago is a bustling metropolis of ice, snow, and people who for some reason view putting ketchup on a hot dog as one step below killing puppies on The Great List O’ Unforgivable Sins.

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Mm, sin-a-licious.

With that said, however, Chicago does have many places of varying degrees of awesomeness, several of which I’ve had the occasion to visit.

So, which are my favorites?

Well, I’m partial to Millennium Park, which has a lovely garden, lots of places to sit, grass and trees and other naturey things, and free classical concerts in the summertime.

Of course, it also has these nightmare-fueling things:

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*cue screaming*

But if you ignore the giant freaky heads sticking out of the ground (and don’t imagine their eyes slowly opening and shooting lasers at you a’la The Neverending Story), the park is a pretty nice place in which to spend some time.

Other places I enjoy: Teavana in Water Tower Place (for the free tea samples and monkey-picked oolong [those monkeys are some great pickers]), the bridge over the Chicago River at Michigan and Wacker (‘cuz it’s perty), and the Moroccan restaurant near the Irving Park Blue Line Station (because delicious).

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Next question!

Question Two: I would like to know what you would do if Benedict Cumberbatch started talking (in public or to you directly) about how much he loved one of your books. -Jamie L.

What would I do, dear Jamie?

Well, I would give a polite smile, offer my gratitude to him in a most dignified way, and then very calmly

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Hopefully that answers your question. <3

If you’ve got a question you’re dying to have me answer, head over to my Contact page and make your seemingly impossible dream a reality. I’ll just be sitting here, staring at the screen like a hopeful puppy and awaiting the inevitable barrage of questions.

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