On Gender Identity and How To Be Cool

All right. Gender identity. Let’s rap.

So, there seems to be a lot of confusion out there about sex, gender, gender identity, etc., so I figured I would offer a quick primer for anyone in need of clarification. I’ll start out by saying that there’s a certain fluidity to all of this, and one person’s experience does not encompass all people’s experiences, and a general rule of thumb is just to take people at their word when they say they are this or that.

Example:

“I’m trans.” “Oh, okay, cool.”
“I’m non-binary.” “Oh, okay, cool.”
“My pronouns are “they/them.” “Oh, okay, cool.”
“I am a giraffe.” “I mean, you don’t look much like one, but you would probably know better than me, so okay, cool.”

See? Super easy.

But let’s get a little more in-depth here.

So, at some point in our illustrious history, it was decided that when it came to humans, there were only two boxes that could be checked. One was “male” and one was “female.” Which box you ticked depended solely on what body parts you had, and this was further expanded with the idea that said body parts also determined your interests, personality, mannerisms, and what kind of body wash scents you were allowed to enjoy.

For example:

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I feel pretty and witty and…

Because “gay” really should go back to meaning “happy,” some smile-inducing LGBTQ tidbits from around the web:

1. Gandalf and Dumbledore got married across the street from the Westboro Baptist Church, and it was – wait for it – magical.

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http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/06/10/that-magical-moment-dumbledore-and-gandalf-got-married-across-from-westboro-baptist-church/

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Mazel tov, gentlemen. <3 Continue reading

Which involves eyeliner and a Bieber wig

As I mentioned in my last post, this blog is currently hovering just short of 100 followers. And because (a) it’s Pride Month, and (b) I’ve been going through the pictures on my phone and discovering a wealth of interesting and/or incriminating photos from The Past, I’ve decided to provide you with a once in a lifetime offer of amazingness.

Should this blog pass 100 followers, I will post something here that has never before seen the light of day, something that brings me a perplexing mix of amusement, embarrassment, and pride.

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Friends, if we pass 100 followers, I will post…

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Reasonably priced fungus for all!

Incidentally: You may recall how I mentioned in June that my first novel, the curiously named and non-mushroom-related Talking About Fungus, was going to be available for the low-low Pride Month price of $0.99. Well, why celebrate Pride for only one month? Thus, I’m going to keep the Kindle Edition of TAF at this Super Awesome Amazing Did You Buy It Yet and If Not Why Not Price for the foreseeable future. Hurrah!

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Talking About Fungus (Kindle Edition) – $0.99

I’m also working on making a print edition of TAF available with the spiffy new cover, so look out for that in the coming days/weeks/months/however long it takes me to stop being lazy and edit the bloody thing.

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And now to go take a shower. …with seagulls.

Until next time.

TAF on A Blog Abroad

So, the supremely awesome Rebecca B. has made me a very happy author by pimping my book on her blog, “A Blog Abroad.”

A Blog Abroad | Book Pimping: Talking About Fungus <–Here.

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So, yes, this pleases me.

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http://www.ablogabroad.com/

If you’re into K-Pop, sarcasm, or good, intelligent writing on a number of topics, you should absolutely check out the rest of her blog. And click on some ads while you’re there, so she can get paid. Because getting paid is pretty great.

Also, buy my book.

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Talking About Fungus: Book Trailer 2014

Presenting, a shoddily made and amateurishly drawn book trailer for my novel, Talking About Fungus! Watch, like, share, and just generally pimp it out to everyone you have ever met or will ever meet, and everyone they’ve ever met, as well as their children, parents, dogs, and hamsters! Let it spread, like fungus, which we can then talk about!

Direct link: http://youtu.be/2lNRai9ttPg
Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L6FFOCW

…I may need to calm down. In my defense, I’ve been fiddling with Windows Movie Maker all morning and that’s enough to destroy anyone’s sanity.

 

Cheap fungus! Spread the word!

In honor of Pride Month, I’m pleased to announce that my first novel, Talking About Fungus, is now available for only 99 cents in Amazon’s Kindle Store!

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Talking About Fungus [Kindle Version] $0.99

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Talking About Fungus
by T.J. Baer

Jamie knows by now that breaking up with a guy is not the end of the world. After taking a few deep breaths and giving a pair of his ex’s underwear to the cat to shred, he’s prepared to forget all about ole What’s-His-Name and get his life back in order.

But then his little sister barges in for a visit, his homophobic dad shows up after two years of stony silence, and to make matters worse, his best friend seems to be falling in love with him.

Just when Jamie’s fantasizing about running off to a monastery and joining up, he meets Mr. Right in a hospital waiting room thanks to the matchmaking powers of the Great Bard. Abe is unlike anyone Jamie’s ever met, let alone dated, and things finally seem to be looking up.

A phone call changes all that, though, and Jamie finds himself flying home with his sister and his best friend for a bedside vigil. Will Jamie make peace with his family before it’s too late? Will Abe forgive him for missing their second date without even a phone call?

Warnings: Strong language, sexual situations, disparaging remarks toward goatees.

PRAISE FOR TALKING ABOUT FUNGUS:

“This story is like a breath of fresh air. Modern and quick-witted, it moves along at a fast pace and displays a sense of humor atypical for the genre. The characters’ voices are unique, the dialogue utterly realistic. The relationships between the characters ring true; they can be strained without being horrific, fun without reading like a comedy. Despite the sometimes-serious subject matter, this story is filled with hope, and its conclusion is no exception. Jamie’s too nice a guy not to end up with a happily ever after — who he ends up with, though, isn’t as simple as one might think.

Charming, entertaining, and contemporary. Not to be missed.”

Alexa Snow, author of Clear Cut and Sleeping Stone

Buy it on Amazon for 99 cents: Talking About Fungus by T.J. Baer

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This new version of the novel includes a brand new cover designed by Yours Truly, the original image of which you can see below in all its poorly drawn glory:

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The book has also been cleansed of its unholy typo infestation (wherein MS Word spell check for some reason changed “pink-a-holic” to “pink-a-Hollis,” because of course), and features many other wonderful things like words and punctuation and more words! Wow!

So, head on over to Amazon and pick up a copy – the Pride Price of 99 cents will stay in effect until the end of the month, so you have until then to purchase a copy and insist that everyone you have ever met likewise purchases one.

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Now go, my pretties. FLYYYYYYY to Amazon and BUYYYYY~~~!

At last, a use for all your unwanted wads of cash.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m in desperate need of something good to read, and on an entirely unrelated note, I have all these great heaps of extra cash cluttering up my home. Whatever am I to do?

Well, salvation is at hand, my friends.

June is Pride Month, as it happens, and what better way to celebrate than by using your unwanted wads of cash to buy some quality gay fiction written by yours truly?

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(Click any of the above images to go to the books’ respective Amazon pages.)

All proceeds go toward helping me pay my rent and keeping Benny happily chowing down on his favorite flavors of Fancy Feast – a most worthy cause indeed.

And if you need further incentive, head over to my Books page for samples and reviews of the books in question. Or you could check out this absolutely-real-and-not-in-any-way-just-a-gif-from-the-internet footage of a Wee Child reading one of my books:

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(Limited Edition Choo-Choo Train cover no longer available.)

In other news: As for the very important question of what I’ve been doing lately, my primary pastimes as of late have been teaching, working on Chosen, eating too much freshly baked bread from the bakery down the street, and then teaching some more and working on Chosen some more.

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I’ve actually been making a lot of progress writing-wise, and have even reached the point where the two main characters of Chosen have their first conversation.

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…Twelve chapters into the story. But seriously, it’s worth the wait. Or it will be once I actually get the scene finished. But it’s going very well so far, full of awkwardness and defensiveness and random bits of genuinely liking each other, plus the usual sarcasm and snarkiness from Kaine.

Actually, I’ve been realizing something through the writing of Chosen – I strive to be like Kaine’s mentor, Mr. Defrin, calm and patient and always willing to give humanity the benefit of the doubt. But in reality, I’m 100% Kaine, defensive and socially awkward and sure the Universe is about to dump a torrential rainstorm of badness on everything good in my life.

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Yeah. We both have some issues we need to work through.

Anyway, I’m very much enjoying my work on Chosen, the story is progressing, and aside from the giant pile of unwashed dishes that’s been slowly gathering mold in my sink, all is well.

Annnnd it’s well past my Old Lady Bedtime of 9:30, so I’ll just finish waving my stick at the kids playing rock music on my lawn and then head off to bed. Someday I will return, and perhaps on that day, I’ll have something even remotely noteworthy to say on this blog.

But today is not that day.  Good night, friends~~

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Chosen, Pride Month, and a girl named Silas

Hello, friends. I’m back with an update, because it’s Sunday again and there are no lengths to which I won’t go to put off doing housework.

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Over the last few days, I’ve been writingwritingwriting, working hard on Chosen, A.K.A. my Gay Fantasy Epic (TM).

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It’s been going surprisingly well, to the extent that I’m now at the midpoint of the book, and A Very Dramatic Occurrence has just Occurred. I’m now actually reaching the point where I have to try to connect the beginning chapters of the story (which I wrote within the last few months) with the latter half of the story (which I wrote quite a long time ago) and see if they actually fit together, or if I’ll have to redo the whole bloody rest of the book.

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Yep, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to rewrite the whole thing.

But hey, if it ends with me having written an awesome book of awesomeness, it’ll all have been worth it.

In other Chosen news, I’ve gender-switched one of the characters from a vicious boy bully named Silas…to a vicious girl bully named Silas. And I have to confess that I kind of like the idea of a girl named Silas, so the name may end up staying through to the final draft.

In non-Chosen news, June is Pride Month (insert explosion of rainbows here), so I shall offer up some pride in the girl-loving side of my bisexual self and say that Gwen from Merlin is pretty smokin’ in this gif:

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Do you deny it? CAN you deny it?

Didn’t think so.

So, on that note, I’ll be on my way, back to writing and listening to music and wishing fervently that my laundry would head on down to the laundry room and wash itself. I’m sure if I stare at it for long enough and continue to make shooing motions, it’ll get the idea.

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Yeah, I may be a tiny bit sleep-deprived.