Books, books, books!

Because I apparently don’t have enough to do with all my other projects, I also recently started work on a vegan cookbook, this one designed to highlight (a) how very bad I am at vegan cooking and (b) how you can potentially avoid my mistakes. The idea hit me while I was in the shower, as many (sometimes questionable) ideas do, and I’ve been having a stupid amount of fun with it ever since. Thus far, the cookbook includes Sad and Soggy Sushi, Breaded Cauliflower of Awesomeness, and even a small cat interlude wherein Benny and Darla disclose their culinary favorites (Benny: cat food; Darla: shredded paper).

In other book-related news, the Amazon Kindle Store has finally decided to stop waging war against my ambitions, because the print version of Talking About Fungus has been approved and is up for sale! Hurrah~!

Now, if you’re going to read one of my novels, I highly recommend the second, Following Grandpa Jess, for its greater maturity, less embarrassing sex scenes, and just general better writing, but TAF definitely still holds a fond place in my heart. It’s a good young person’s book, in any case, which I am just not anymore, so…yeah. Keep that in mind, I suppose. :P

Click here to check it out on Amazon.

As a reminder, you can still buy the ebook of Talking About Fungus here for $0.99.

Annnnd now I’d better go get ready for work before I lose the opportunity to shower. Until next time, friends~~~!

In which I am old and TAF gets a new release (probably, eventually)

Taking a brief vacation from the new vlogging obsession, I thought I’d compose a short post that actually pertains to writing – ho ho. I recently realized that my first novel, Talking About Fungus, passed its ten-year publication anniversary last year, and that is both impressive and deeply, deeply unsettling, for it further underscores the fact that I am old.

Old.

Old.

OLD.

So, yes, in sort-of honor of that milestone, I thought I would have another look at Fungus (I’ll take Weird-Sounding Sentences for 400, Alex), give it a little spiff-up, and then re-release it as Version 3. So, that is what I’m in the process of doing.

Unfortunately, Amazon Createspace, the platform I’d previously used to publish Fungus after its initial rights at Torquere Press reverted back to me, is now in the process of being swallowed up by the Amazon Kindle Store, and the Kindle Store – or KDP, as it jovially refers to itself – is giving me a great deal of grief in the republishing of said book. Rather than going into details about that (Cliff’s Notes Version: non-matching ISBNs, cover text, cover image, cover text again – DIDN’T I ALREADY FIX THE COVER TEXT??!!, etc.), I’ll just say that the whole situation is In Progress, and hopefully soon I’ll be able to link to the new and improved print version of Talking About Fungus.

The good news is that the Kindle version was far easier to create, and thus I can in fact share that:

Talking About Fungus, **NEW AND SPARKLY AND IMPROVED** Version

This updated version boasts a new and semi-attractive cover, which will end up being slightly different for the print version since…well, see above re: KDP giving me grief. :P

I fixed a few formatting errors from version 2, deleted some of Jamie’s monologuing (which, as a kind reviewer pointed out in his Amazon review, does tend to go on a bit), and just generally tidied things up.

Another sign of my advancing age, perhaps, is that I now look upon the sex scenes (which multiple reviewers have informed me are quite tame) with an excess of embarrassment, and in general I just feel as if this is 100% the book of a Young Person (TM), which I presumably am no longer. Regardless, it’s still a book I enjoy reading and which I think does some things quite well, so if you’re in the mood for a quick and youthful read, perhaps give it a go. (It’s only 0.99 cents, so hey, why not? WHY NOT INDEED.)

Evidence above re: why writers should not do their own marketing.

Anyway, more on the print edition when information becomes available, and/or when KDP decides to stop tormenting me and just publish the durned thing. And yes, I did just say “durned,” because…

Which is all about fungus.

Good news, fungus fans! After a lengthy wait of approximately five thousand years, the print version of Talking About Fungus – now with a spiffy new cover that actually relates to the book – is now available!

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It’s currently available on Amazon’s “Createspace” site, and will be up on the Amazon main page within, if the legends be true, 3-5 business days.

And if that’s still not enough fungus for you, the T.J. Baer Shop (est. Yesterday, 2014) now carries a Talking About Fungus T-shirt! WOW! What an unexpected merchandise tie-in! And how convenient for those ardent fans whose deepest desire is to have my poorly drawn doodles on their chests for all the world to see!
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http://www.cafepress.com/tjbaershop

Get all your TAF stuff now while supplies last! (Which will probably be quite a long time, actually, so it might be all right to finish what you’re doing before buying your book(s) and/or T-shirt(s). But I wouldn’t wait much longer than that, just to be on the safest of safe sides.)

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In other news, my Chosen beta-readers (a very official word meaning “friends who have been pressured into reading my lengthy LGBT fantasy epic and giving me some feedback on it”) are beta-reading, and I’m doing a great deal of editing and reading and reading and editing.

And, contrary to every natural impulse in my body, cleaning.

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Why, you may ask, would anyone with a comfortable chair and internet access subject themselves to something as miserable as cleaning? Well, my mother is coming for a visit this week, and that means that I have to extricate myself from my usual life of squalor and offer the illusion that I live in an apartment that occasionally gets cleaned.

This evening’s To Do List will involve a great deal of dusting, sweeping, and scrubbing of gunk out of horrifying places, but hopefully by the end of it, I’ll have created an environment that I won’t be ashamed to let my mother set foot in.

And, of course, as soon as she leaves, I’ll likely lapse back into my usual disgraceful and dusty existence, but for a few golden, glorious days, I shall live in a world of CLEAN.

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And now, I shall go back to asking that age-old question, “What is this stuff in the bottom of the sink, and can I destroy it before it destroys me with its probably-highly-toxic stench?”

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I’m off to find out. Boo-yah.

Reasonably priced fungus for all!

Incidentally: You may recall how I mentioned in June that my first novel, the curiously named and non-mushroom-related Talking About Fungus, was going to be available for the low-low Pride Month price of $0.99. Well, why celebrate Pride for only one month? Thus, I’m going to keep the Kindle Edition of TAF at this Super Awesome Amazing Did You Buy It Yet and If Not Why Not Price for the foreseeable future. Hurrah!

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Talking About Fungus (Kindle Edition) – $0.99

I’m also working on making a print edition of TAF available with the spiffy new cover, so look out for that in the coming days/weeks/months/however long it takes me to stop being lazy and edit the bloody thing.

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And now to go take a shower. …with seagulls.

Until next time.

TAF on A Blog Abroad

So, the supremely awesome Rebecca B. has made me a very happy author by pimping my book on her blog, “A Blog Abroad.”

A Blog Abroad | Book Pimping: Talking About Fungus <–Here.

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So, yes, this pleases me.

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http://www.ablogabroad.com/

If you’re into K-Pop, sarcasm, or good, intelligent writing on a number of topics, you should absolutely check out the rest of her blog. And click on some ads while you’re there, so she can get paid. Because getting paid is pretty great.

Also, buy my book.

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Talking About Fungus: Book Trailer 2014

Presenting, a shoddily made and amateurishly drawn book trailer for my novel, Talking About Fungus! Watch, like, share, and just generally pimp it out to everyone you have ever met or will ever meet, and everyone they’ve ever met, as well as their children, parents, dogs, and hamsters! Let it spread, like fungus, which we can then talk about!

Direct link: http://youtu.be/2lNRai9ttPg
Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L6FFOCW

…I may need to calm down. In my defense, I’ve been fiddling with Windows Movie Maker all morning and that’s enough to destroy anyone’s sanity.