Take me home, country…plane

Greetings, friends. As usual, it’s been a while, so I’ll attempt to bring you up to speed on recent developments as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Having (a) just wrapped up a 12-week 5th/6th grade after-school teaching gig, and (b) gotten myself fully vaxxed (woot), I now finally feel comfortable making good on the Secret Plans I’ve had for quite some time: namely, moving back to Chicago after two long years away. There are many things to love about Virginia, but sadly it just doesn’t seem to be a place I “vibe” with, and thus I’m returning to a locale that feels much more like home (and trying to ignore the nine-month-long freezing cold winters for the time being).

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How could I sneak with this fine physique?

Greetings, friends. Greetings and hello and hello and also greetings.

I find myself with a bit of time to spare this evening, so I thought it was about time I posted an update. So to all those readers who have been weeping bitter tears into their pillows at night wondering when I would return, you may now rest easy. Your prayers have been answered.

Continue reading “How could I sneak with this fine physique?”

Interlude: Basic Chinese phrases and some whining in Japanese (and English!)

INTERLUDE! In which I demonstrate some truly awful Chinese and a brief whining tantrum in both Japanese and English. Also, to give this the authentic feel of a Chinese film badly dubbed into English, I have arranged for my video editing program to randomly refuse to sync my lips to my words. So very much to enjoy in this video…! Continue reading Interlude: Basic Chinese phrases and some whining in Japanese (and English!)

Vegan Vlog 21: Vegan Thanksgiving, The Good Place, and Darla vs. the Christmas Tree

Today, I discuss such riveting topics as my failures at time management in online ESL lessons, what I ate for Thanksgiving, queer representation (or lack thereof) on “The Good Place,” and Darla’s new gnawing target, the Christmas tree. Also, I talk about grocery shopping, because I work from home now and grocery shopping is apparently a major highlight of any day. Bonus (?): Photos of … Continue reading Vegan Vlog 21: Vegan Thanksgiving, The Good Place, and Darla vs. the Christmas Tree

VEGAN VLOG 18: Sadness in the Japanese Food Court and a review of the Beyond Burger

In which I venture to the Japanese supermarket and experience Great Sadness, then discover a wealth of vegan items closer to home + try the Beyond Burger. Also, miso ramen and vegan tonkatsu! Kind of. Continue reading VEGAN VLOG 18: Sadness in the Japanese Food Court and a review of the Beyond Burger

In which there is a new cat, new digs, and general fawning over Jodie Whittaker

So…yeah. It’s been a while.

To all those impatiently tapping their feet, looking at their watches, and saying, “What kind of time do you call this, then?” I can only offer the excuse that I’ve been buried under piles of crazed and lovable children, struggling to complete my MFA, and spending the rest of the time sleeping.

The good news, however, is that I’ve actually managed to complete my MFA with a Hermione-worthy GPA (insert smugness and general academic fatigue here), and my tenure as a teacher of preschoolers is wrapping up in favor of shifting gears to writing, editing, teaching, and (hopefully) recovering somewhat from my eternal and unceasing state of exhaustion.

In any case, because so very much has happened since my last update sometime in the Mesozoic Era, I offer you updates now in the form of a handy list:
Continue reading “In which there is a new cat, new digs, and general fawning over Jodie Whittaker”

In which I return for a brief moment to share news of my continued survival

Greetings, friends and tumbleweeds. As it seems my last post was in the bygone days of September 2016 (a simpler time), I thought it might be a fine plan to make another post just to assert the fact that I am still among the living (just not among the living who have time for frequent blog updates). So, yes. I LIVE! Not much else can … Continue reading In which I return for a brief moment to share news of my continued survival

Regarding Pima County and where I’ve been all this time (hint: not in Pima County)

So, I’ve just discovered that my second book, Following Grandpa Jess, is available to borrow from the Pima County Public Library in Pima County, Arizona: Pima County Library: Following Grandpa Jess It’s not available in Chicago, sadly, or anywhere else that I’m aware of, but Pima County residents, enjoy! In other news, regarding my lengthy and unexplained absence from the interwebs, I’m afraid I’ve been … Continue reading Regarding Pima County and where I’ve been all this time (hint: not in Pima County)

Star Trek, sexism, and my time travel wife

After another lengthy, unplanned hiatus, I have returned~~~!

mphg_not-dead-yet

To the millions upon millions of clamoring fans demanding to know what I’ve been doing with myself these last two months, I offer the following:

1. I’ve been spending much of my time working, performing my duties as a Financially Challenged ESL Teacher by teaching my students valuable lessons about life in America, drawing stick figures to illustrate grammatical points, and answering questions like, “What does ‘be’ mean?” “What’s the difference between ‘underway,’ ‘ongoing,’ and ‘in progress?'” and “What is circumcision?”

homer_melt-into-bushes

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In which the dreadful consequences are revealed

It would seem that my six-hour journey yesterday was not without consequences. Yes. For you see, the sad truth of the matter is… I’m sick. On the plus side, at the moment it’s just a bit of a sore throat plus a general overwhelming feeling of you’re sick you’re sick you’re sick just in case you forgot for a minute HEY you’re sick…but as I … Continue reading In which the dreadful consequences are revealed

Because procrastination isn’t just for weekends.

Good morning, friends. I have only a limited time between finishing breakfast and needing to be on my way out the door, so naturally I’ve chosen to use this time to write a blog entry. Is this a good idea? Yeah, probably not. Let’s do it anyway. So, as it happens, I don’t actually have much to say, which I admit may make writing a … Continue reading Because procrastination isn’t just for weekends.

This is a blog post! Wow! Amazing!

So, I’m going to try this interesting new thing called “updating my blog on a semi-regular basis.” I know. Shocking. We’ll see how it goes. So, for my first Updating My Blog On A Semi-Regular Basis (UMBOASRB?) entry: Ummmm. Hm. Ah, got it. Things I’ve been doing recently! 1. Watching a great deal of Sherlock 2. Thinking a great deal about Sherlock 3. Cursing winter and its … Continue reading This is a blog post! Wow! Amazing!